Addiction Guides :
For Spouses

How Substance Misuse Affects Relationships

We expect our partners to be our haven. When substance misuse becomes a problem in the relationship, both people suffer. Substance dependence directly impacts the spouse of a person with an addiction. It’s crucial to understand how addiction affects both parties.

Substance dependence can take a toll on the spouse. A person who suffers from addiction will often suffer from physical symptoms as well as mental ones.

Supporting a Partner Without Enabling

Enabling is when one partner, usually unintentionally, makes it possible for the other to continue drinking or using without having to face the consequences. Oftentimes, the enabler may not even realize what they’re doing. That’s why it helps to keep an eye out for some behaviors that signal enabling.

Examples of enabling behavior may include:

• Allowing a loved one to neglect their responsibilities.
• Letting your spouse abuse you or someone else.
• Making excuses for the individual.
• Neglecting your own needs to help your spouse.

Codependency

Codependency consists of a relationship in which one partner has extreme physical or emotional needs, and the other partner spends most of their time responding to those needs. Consequently, this can lead to the detriment of the codependent partner’s life, activities, and other relationships.

This can lead to a toxic pattern in which the codependent partner cares for and enables the loved one’s challenges. Thus, making it easier for the loved one to continue partaking in destructive behavior.

Types of codependent behavior can include:

•  An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others
•  A tendency to confuse love and pity, with the tendency to “love” people they can pity and rescue
•  A tendency to do more than their share all of the time/putting in much more effort
•  A tendency to become hurt when people don’t recognize their efforts
•  An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship to avoid the feeling of abandonment
•  An extreme need for approval and recognition

What You Can Do Right Now

If you find yourself feeling stuck, there are actions you can take on your half to alleviate the pain. Being the spouse of an addict is not easy. That’s why self-care is crucial during this challenging time. Fortunately, there are many steps that the spouse can take to help themselves. Some of the many options include:

Treatment Options

Fortunately, there are treatment programs available for not just the suffering individual, but the spouse as well. For the person who is dealing with addiction, rehab is a great first step on the road to recovery. Rehab has varying levels of care, depending on your circumstances and addiction.

If your spouse is physically dependent on any substances including alcohol, going through detoxification will be the first step of treatment. It is crucial to rid your body of toxins accumulated through drug use. Withdrawal can be accompanied by unpleasant and possibly fatal side effects, so medical supervision is crucial.

However, withdrawing from substances is only the beginning of recovery. Your spouse will need to learn new coping skills for the stresses of life, develop a support network, and learn to deal with triggers and cravings that may come up in the future. At Discovery Institute, we provide a trigger-free and supportive environment to help your spouse recover from addiction.

Support Groups for the Spouse

According to Project Know, “Recovery for the spouse shares characteristics with the recovery process for an addict, as both depend on acknowledging the problem, learning about the disease that helped create the dysfunction, and adopting new coping skills. Support groups can be instrumental in giving spouses a safe place. Here they can express their fears, find comfort, and discover new ways of interacting with family members.” 

Al-Anon Support Groups

Al-Anon is a support group that is available in most locations nationwide. These groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength, and hope to solve their common problems. There are also Nar-Anon groups for drug dependence.

These groups meet weekly to provide support for those affected by a loved one who is struggling with addiction. Support groups provide a safe space to healthily cope through negative emotions.

Call Us Today

Being the spouse of an addict is draining and challenging. It is crucial to acknowledge the pain you’re going through. You have the power to learn from the situation and find a solution that helps you, as well as your spouse.

You have complete control over what direction you want your life to go in. There are countless ways to not only maintain sobriety but to improve your life overall.

At Discovery Institute, we’re here to guide you through the entire process. We understand it’s not always easy, but we can promise you that it’ll be worth it.

If you’re the spouse of an addict and ready for lasting and positive change, you can contact us here. You can also call us to talk to one of our experts. Remember, we’re here to answer your questions or address the concerns you may have. We’re waiting for your call!